Pink Bunny Poison
by StupidStory
Summary: 9 years after Arnold betrays Iggy and they still haven't forgotten. Iggy finds getting a job impossible because the employers will not hire anyone who has worn a pink bunny suit for any reason other than being forced to, and Arnold works at a Heart Attack Grill. Two major themes to the story are: move on from the past, and smiling does not equal lying.


**Pink Bunny Poison**

This is a sequel to the episode about Arnold betraying Iggy by implicitly admitting that he wore pink bunny pajamas, and everyone knew. I do not watch the show. I've only seen that one episode, so forgive me if I get some names wrong. This fanfic takes place 9 years after that episode.

"Hello, Iggy. Fuck off, ya four eyed freak." Arnold said coldly. There was not even a hint of wistfulness of wanting to be friends again.

"What?" Iggy was confused.

"You know. That one time 9 years ago when you made me wear those goddamn bunny pajamas. I still have not forgiven you. Go to hell you fat piece of crap."

"Dude, I doubt anyone still remembers that. They have better things to make fun of people for, like listening to Justin Bieber and watching My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, and playing Call of Duty. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a job application to fill out."

Iggy filled out his application for The Heart Attack Grill and turned it in.

Iggy was nervouscited about his interview. He took some deep breaths, did some yoga, swallowed a long cotton string, and pooped it out, and cracked his knuckles.

He drove to his interview and sat down.

"Question 1. Do you wear bunny pajamas?" The interviewer asked.

"Yes." Iggy admitted shamefully.

"You do? Then get the fuck outta here! We do not employ your kind!" Iggy stormed out of there, sat down at a table, and ordered a quadruple bypass burger. He could not eat for free because he only weighed 110 pounds, and you need to weigh at least 350 pounds. _Would he forgive me if I gave myself a heart attack by eating here all the time, thus making the restaurant live up to its name? Yeah, I think I'll do that. If he's not gonna forgive me 9 years later, surely he would if I got a heart attack._

There was a meth lab clearly visible in the kitchen and some of the workers were naked and were holding magnums and Uzis. Also, there were actual bunnies.

Arnold applied for the same position at the Heart Attack Grill.

"Question 1. Do you wear bunny pajamas?" The interviewer asked.

"I did one time 9 years ago but my friend made me because I accidentally blabbed, so it was humiliating punishment."

"Touching story. Okay, question 2..." From that point on was normal interview questions.

Iggy returned to the Heart Attack Grill. He stepped on the scale out front. 250 lbs. Still not enough to get free food. Yes, he did gain all that weight from a single burger. Not long now.

"I'll have a quadr- ARNOLD? You work here now?" Iggy gasped.

"Yes. Altho working with meth addicts, naked gunslingers, and actual bunnies isn't very fun but in this economy, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Oh, and to top it all off, my boss is a dead rat. Ha ha, I got the job, and you didn't! Nanny nanny woobooo!" Iggy sobbed. "Stop crying you crybaby! You deserve all this for that one thing you did nine years ago."

"THAT WAS 9 YEARS AGO, DAMMIT! I BARELY REMEMBER! THE PAST IS IN THE PAST!" Iggy snapped. "Okay, I will have another quadruple bypass burger

"Dude, do you want a heart attack?" Arnold said.

"No, I just want to gain 350 pounds so I can eat for free, and WHERE ARE THE HOT NURSES? I was supposed to have a hot nurse cart me out of here when I finish the quad bypass burger." Arnold appeared to be buying Iggy's ruse.

"Oh, that. There are no hot nurses here, only meth addicts, naked gunslingers, and actual bunnies."

"Well then," Iggy said in a valley girl accent.

Iggy gobbled up his bypass burger in zero bites, walked out, and filled out an application for GameStop. _Surely they can't all have the bunny pajama thing as an interview question._

"Question 1. Do you wear bunny pajamas?"

"No." Iggy lied.

"I see through your lie like I see through my hot girlfriend's white shirt when she got drenched on the log flume. You were smiling when you said it. That makes it a lie. Anytime you smile while saying something that's the definitive cue that you're lying. I know you wear those bunny pajamas, and thus I will not hire your kind."

Iggy had applied to literally every hiring place in the entire city, and they all rejected him on the grounds that he wore bunny pajamas. "That does it!"

Iggy set up a camera on a tripod and set it to record. He then laid his pink bunny pajamas out, poured lighter fluid on it, lit a match, and watched it burn. "Ha ha ha!" He laughed maniacally. "Burn like a faggot in the winter time!"

He uploaded the clip to GoogleTube and watched the views climb. To 0!

Six hours later, still no views. "Oh my God! No views! Ugh! Is the view counter broken?" The view counts for all other videos were pretty much normal. Iggy felt slightly mischievous. He typed his password in the comments. _If no one ever views this video then I might as well post my password and not worry about any repercussions._

352 lbs and he could eat for free now, and 16 quadruple bypass burgers later (the last one served by Arnold, no less), Iggy started feeling intense chest pain and nausea. _This is it. Hopefully he will forgive me now._ Arnold gasped in shock at the sight of Iggy fainting.

"Oh my God, this is my fault! If I knew he was going to gorge himself on these heart attacks on buns I would not have said such harsh words to him! I should just let things go and forget the past! I wish I hadn't served him that burger!"

"But you had to because it's your job. It was his choice to come here every day." One of his coworkers reminded him.

"Yea, I guess." Arnold called 9-1-1 and shortly after the paramedics arrived.

While Iggy was in the hospital being visited by Arnold, he tried to force himself to feel as optimistic as possible. Faking a smile was hard because of the pain but he did it, and no one could tell the difference. "Dude, you're faking your heart attack." Arnold scolded. "Not funny."

"But I really am suffering and pending heart surgery," Iggy asserted.

"You smiled while saying it. That makes it a lie."

"Oh yeah." Iggy stretched his grin wider and said "The terrorist group ISIS is evil and they are monsters. It really hit me in the feels when I watched that video of the pilot burning."

"I used to believe that ISIS was an evil terrorist group until I heard you say that while smiling. That makes it a lie. They did not burn or behead anybody and they are not a terrorist group. I'm gonna join ISIS because I do not believe they are a terrorist group solely on the basis that you smiled while saying it." Arnold left.

"NOOOOO! YOU SUCK!" Iggy suffered a second heart attack from the anger.


End file.
